My life, usually fairly settled, has lately been a whirlwind of self-doubt and confusion. I feel like I have to watch my step constantly if I want to be bearable for other people, but at the same time it would be so much easier to just shout my opinions from the roof-tops and not care if some person I barely know thinks I'm an idiot or not. I realise these are not unusual situations to find oneself in, but I don't think that makes them any more bearable. A good example of this is the Live Journal - on the one hand, it creates a wonderful release because you feel like you're throwing things out into the aether rather than bottling them up in a notebook with stickers on the front. The idea that some disembodied spectator is reading this and sharing in my minor frustrations is very comforting. But given the fact that this is a Live Journal, and the process of "friending" people and all that goes with it, you immediately lose the freedom from other people that the thing originally gave you. But if you never friend anyone, whats the point of the thing? So you wind-up stuck monitoring yourself just as much as you would anywhere else, and getting progressively more frustrated. Like this! I feel like I should delete this and write something about cats.

I guess I am just feeling down in the mouth. To compensate, here is a picture of Rachel Weisz



and an extremely informative article on Ernest Hemingway.

Tags: bloggish
Current Mood: depressed